In Search of The Light...

Well everyone, it's finally here...my trip to Europe! Well, almost. I'll be in Louisville until Wednesday, and I'll have my cell phone on me, so feel free to give me a call, and I'll call you whenever I can. This trip will be so much fun, and I may not even want to come home. :D Moose gave me the great idea of keeping a journal while I'm there so I plan on doing that, and I can report back here when I get home. I'll have plenty of time to think and even though I've had some really good ideas for post, I've just been too lazy :). Well, I hope everyone can survive without me for about 2 weeks, love you all, and take it easy!

So I didn't post yesterday, sorry. But yes, I did pass my class! Woohoo! So here in a month I can get my license. I wish I could get more practice before I leave for Europe, but it's looking unlikely, especially since the only motorcycle around is my dad's gold wing. But that's all for now, I may post later today, something more meaningful :D, till then take it easy.

Hey, just a short post to let you all know I'm here. But I'm sore as can be! My motorcycle class is awesome! I love riding! I have my tests tomorrow (yes plural because there is a written test and a riding test). I'll write a real post tomorrow and let you know how it went, till then take it easy!

I have no idea what to title this blog. I just know that I need to vent. I'm not mad at anyone in particular...just maybe myself. Maybe not even that. I just feel kinda lost right now...ha, now, more like still. I really want to get away from everything and go out on my own and just read, and practice my horn. I want to be away from civilization and find myself. I pray and all I do is talk, how can I even hear God if he is telling me something? I can't, and that's the problem. I need so much and only He can provide. I also feel like I'm being pressured by people...people from home that I've known my entire life, family, and friends from church. My dad recently has decided that I should take a more active part in church by preparing a couple of songs to direct the congregation. And for the past two Sundays, not this one, my dad and my pastor have gave me the duty of reading infront of the church and/or taking up offering. Now, I don't mind doing or going to do these things, and I appreciate my father and pastor giving me a chance to do them, but I don't like the reasoning behind it. If the reason were to get used to having a responsibilities I wouldn't mind, but the reasoning is so I CAN TAKE THEM OVER! This bothers me, because at the moment I don't want to come back to Hazard. I love my family and I do like the place I grew up...but I don't know if I want to come back. If I did, I would be living in others shadows, well there goes David's boy, or there that Francis kid, the one who always did so well. Now these are compliments in a way, but I would like to go out on my own and pave my own way. How could I go through life riding on the coat tails of others. I try to never follow the ordinary, I want to be me, not a member of the masses. But right now, I don't even really know who I am at times, or what I'm striving for. Things are blurry, maybe because I don't want to get myself hurt, or that I'm blinded by something. I'm looking forward to my trip to Europe, but I don't want to go this way. I would like to have some feeling of resolve. I know one thing that will be a long battle is my weight. It's really starting to get me down. Not so much that I hate being fat, but I hate hurting my friends because I am. I've always tried to use my fat in a positive out look to cheer up others, but it hurts me to think that people can only accept my weight so much. I know all my friends love and care about me, no matter how I look. But that can only go so far. For someone to love me more, to be in love with...can they do that with my weight? Hopefully that person would see past it and love me for who I am, but I can't let them do it. That would be selfish, and I hate being selfish. It is my sacrifice to lose the weight for the one I love...where ever they may be. I would love to be the perfect guy for them, and that's going to take a lot of work from me, so looks like it's time to shut up or put up. I can talk a great game, but you can't win the game if you don't play. I'm gone...if I don't post for awhile, it's not because I'm lazy, hopefully it's because I've gone to do what I've wanted, and found myself. Till then take it easy...and to all my friends, thank you for loving me no matter how I look.

Yes! I got into my motorcycle class that I wanted! When I first tried to get into this class the lady there said it was full, but they might be able to get another teacher, so she put my name down and would call me if it opened up...and it did! This took place I believe Tuesday, but I haven't been in the mood to blog. Sorry, but I just wanted to keep you all in suspense lol :D. Anyways, everything is going pretty good. My parents decided to move on into the kitchen for remodeling. This meant that I couldn't go to Morehead and hang out with some of my bro's, but you've got to do what you've got to do. Hopefully tomorrow my dad will help me on some basic motorcycle stuff, I plan on getting my permit sometime next week, then my class is that Friday, Saturday, and Sunday. If I pass I can go Monday and they will give me my license! We would have done some today, but after dinner we went to see my aunts house to see her remodeling job. And of course you can't get my family together for just a short time, lol. But it's all good, well that's all for now, take it easy.

Well, for those of you who I don't know who are out there reading my blog I have a little story. This past year before Christmas break, my tuba professor Dr. Baker decided that she was tired of the tuba rooms (just like it sounds, it's where we keep all the school tubas) being crowded, so the entire tuba/euph. studio cleaned them. As we were doing so Dr. Baker was going to through this old coat rack out, but LB another tuba player and myself said no one of us would take it. Well I let it stay in there, and LB never came to get it, so I took it and checked to make sure he didn't mind, and he was ok with it. So this past spring semester me and Chris (Screeching Cedar) got quite a bit of use out of it. Well when I brought it home for the summer I was tired of it looking like crap so I came up with a summer project to fix her up. New screws to hold it together and coat and hat hooks, and two double hooks in the middle. Now the wood was cracked, scratched, and not very much to look at. So I decided to paint it. Of course I went with my fraternity colors. The pole, and one set of legs are black, and the braces and other set of legs are red. The gold will be provided by the hooks but I also have a little tuba of gold paint to add if I feel it needs it. But it should look great in me and my big's room. :D Now to where I got the name for this post. My parents ever since I've gone to college have decided that now is the best time to fix up the house. I thought this was a crazy idea seeing as a lot of money goes to my school and I don't want to see my parents go broke in the middle. But since I'm in college now they don't have to follow me around and actually have time to do things, this being their argument against me. So this past Saturday, workers came and took out these French style doors in our dining room and put in sliding glass doors, which looks really cool because you can see the wildlife outside really well now. And today some different guys came and put in a hard wood floor, and finished it today! So this meant they started early...much too early for me seeing as I stayed up reading till about 3 or 4 in the morning. And I'm laying in my bed and I hear this pounding, and I finally was able to ignore it to catch some more Z's. But not too many cause I had to get up and get some stuff for them, oh well, maybe I'll go to bed early tonight...probably not cause now I'm staring the final book in the series I'm reading! Well, everyone take it easy, I'm out!

Just trying Hello out. This is a picture I took my senior year when I got the chance to go to Paris, and now I get to go again! This is one of my favorites, we were on this little boat cruise and we passed by and this was like the perfect shot with the Eiffel Tower and the moon. So enjoy and take it easy 

I'll tell you at the end of this blog, hehe. So as most of you all know thanks to Amanda *shaking fist* I finally got my tuba. It's a Kallison Daryl Smith model, it's not as good as the Hirshbruner or Perantucci models but it is still a nice horn. It's also a very large horn, I believe it's a bit larger than the new PT-20's the school has...excellent. But other than that, not much has went on this week. The people from Hazard that are going on the trip to Europe all met today at El Azul Grande, a Mexican restaurant today to discuss some things. I'm getting really excited about the trip, it's going to be even better than my trip to Paris. My high school band director is a great person to go on trips with, she makes sure you see everything there is to possibly see lol. Also she is going to help me with some score reading and maybe some woodwind stuff. Since there is no score reading class at Morehead, and Music Lit. is a sorry replacement I decided to ask for her help. Well, I'll keep everyone informed on the trip and my other summer activities, till then take it easy. Oh wait, *drum roll* and the name is Cecilia.